Lancaster, Pennsylvania May 14, 2023 (Issuewire.com) - Underground Author Navigates Trauma Through Dark Lens of Borderline Personality Disorder With New Book of Hyperreal Autofiction  

The stories and art in If I Don't Self Immolate Will I Ever Be Understood? grapple with the probity of reality and wash in the waters of the totally absurd. 

andrw writes, Certain in the wisdom in the destruction of everything, God is a teenager in love, delivering a sharp-tongued epithet for the apocalyptic temper tantrum that is the BPD experience.

Borderline Personality Disorder is often seen as a manufactured illness that gives reason to dangerous and manipulative behavior, andrw says. That the experience of BPD is distinctly narcissistic and uniform; calculated and self-absorbed. Of course, thats grossly misinformed. Its taken seven years of sobriety and therapy to get to this point of self-discovery; however incredibly dark it is. This book isnt about this illness, but it is a recognition that my experience, for better or worse, is informed by my affliction. 

In their follow-up to every thing andrw fx meditates with agonizing fear, suicide, disassociation, discomfort, closure, SSRI-induced half-realities, sycophantic blood cults, augury, ego death, heartache, queerness, and deep platonic love.

Their new book, If I Dont Self Immolate Will I Ever Be Understood? is available now in paperback.

Who should read this book? This book is for fiction and memoir readers interested in experimental and underground literature that deals in hyperreality.  

These 13 stories are a funeral parade of intense emotion led by a cast of award-winning absentee gods, feral cats, vulcans, mutant chicken bois, aliens, dead birds, dust particles, queer-Appalachian humanoids, and Harold Ramis.

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andrw adds, Not everyone has the stomach for this book. I get that. It's my life on blast, but thats the only way that I can stomach my own experience.

Primary Process Archive, andrws own sound art label and book imprint, published this book. 

andrws book is dedicated to Melissa and Shane and Corrine and Richard and Tyler and Michael. Each one a friend ripped too soon from this realm.

Whats next for andrw fx? 

andrw has two more books coming out this year, microcosms: poems, vignettes, thoughts & microstories from 2013-2017 and The Absurd One: Meditations & Illustrations (Polychrome Edition)a full-color reimagining of their 2022 black and white book of the same name. Both of these books are available for preorder now.  

andrw is currently working on two novellas and a musical expected to be released in 2024. 

Questions and Interviews

andrw fx is available for interviews to discuss their new book, as well as speaking engagements, and bookstore events. 

Contact

To get in touch, email andrw@andrwfx.com

Author and Book Photos

Download high-resolution author photos here and book photos here.

Early Praise for  If I Dont Self Immolate Will I Ever Be Understood?

andrw fx's writing is heavy and dark, beautiful as it is painful. Their book, everything, knocked me the f out. This book,  If I Dont Self Immolate Will I Ever Be Understood? builds on the power of that novel. Andrw's stories feel as human as your own flesh, as true as the dome of sky arcing above you.
Adam Gnade, author of After Tonight Everything Will be Different

andrw fx has a voice and andrw fx has an eye so singular it makes me want to create in their image. Art so inspired demands you write on your own. Synesthetic prose posing as photos, clarity so confused it isn't, memories so gone for good they never leave. andrw fx has a voice so unique it forces you to believe in your own. I am grateful for their inspiration and can honestly say they are the best writer I know personally.
Matt Miller, sound artist, Endless Mike and the Beagle Club, The Homeless Gospel Choir, Small Pollen

andrw fxs If I dont self immolate will I ever be understood? is a collection of 13 vignettes that are meditations on memory, identity, and the possibility for the enchantment of everyday life. Its like andrw found the trap doors of our increasingly algorithmically pre-determined modern life and shows us theres something weird, wonderful, and unsettling everywhere if you open yourself up to look for it.  At times these stories are startlingly insightful and full of images that will stick with you long after you put the book down.
Dr. Matthew Ussia, author of The Red Glass Cat, professor of English Studies at Duquesne University

About andrw fx

andrw fx is a contemporary artist who works in fiction, sound, illustration, assemblage, painting, and other media. Their works objective is to navigate trauma and subvert traditions and limitations of ghosts and harbingers alike.

They make their home in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with their partner, cat children, and robot vacuum.

Website: www.andrwfx.com

 If I Dont Self Immolate Will I Ever Be Understood? is available for purchase here.

everything: a novella is available for purchase here.

The Absurd One: Meditations & Illustrations (Monochrome Edition) is available for purchase here.

microcosms: poems, vignettes, thoughts & microstories from 2013-2017 is available for pre-order here.

The Absurd One: Meditations & Illustrations (Polychrome Edition) is available for pre-order here. 

Discretion is something for someone

who doesnt want to be realized.

andrw fx